Leading a Team When You’re Still Figuring Yourself Out

Here’s a plot twist no one prepares you for:

One day you’re a high-performing individual contributor.

Next day — boom — you're a people manager.

With zero training.

No manual.

Just vibes and a fancy new calendar invite: “Weekly 1:1s with team.”

I was excited. Grateful.

And also 75% confused.

What They Don’t Tell You About Leadership

It’s less about knowing answers and more about asking better questions

People will look at you when things go wrong (even when you had no clue what was happening)

“Feedback” is suddenly a thing you have to give — constructively, empathetically, and on time

Your time is no longer your time — it’s now divided into:

• Listening

• Context switching

• Trying not to cry during performance reviews

My Early Mistakes (a non-exhaustive list):

• Trying to fix everything instead of enabling people to fix it

• Avoiding tough conversations to “keep the peace”

• Saying “yes” to too much because I wanted to be liked

• Assuming people work like me (spoiler: they don’t)

What Helped Me Get Better (Slowly):

• Asking my team what support looks like to them

• Listening more than I speak

• Blocking “no meeting hours” to actually think and plan

Not pretending to know everything (Google is still my co-manager)

And most importantly, having a mentor or peer where I can say:

“Am I doing this right, or just winging it professionally?”

(The answer is often both.)

Final Thought:

Being a leader doesn’t mean having it all figured out.

It means creating space, giving clarity, and building trust — even when you’re growing too.

So if you’re a new-ish manager who still second guesses yourself —

• You’re not underqualified.

• You’re just evolving.

And that's exactly what your team needs to see.