For new managers.
Here's a plot twist no one prepares you for: one day you're a high-performing individual contributor. Next day — boom — you're a people manager. With zero training. No manual. Just vibes and a fancy new calendar invite: "Weekly 1:1s with team."
I was excited. Grateful. And also 75% confused.
What They Don't Tell You About Leadership
- It's less about knowing answers and more about asking better questions
- People will look at you when things go wrong — even when you had no clue what was happening
- "Feedback" is suddenly something you have to give — constructively, empathetically, and on time
- Your time is no longer your time. It's divided into: listening, context switching, and trying not to cry during performance reviews
My Early Mistakes (A Non-Exhaustive List)
- Trying to fix everything instead of enabling people to fix it
- Avoiding tough conversations to "keep the peace"
- Saying "yes" to too much because I wanted to be liked
- Assuming people work like me (spoiler: they don't)
What Helped Me Get Better (Slowly)
- Asking my team what support looks like to them
- Listening more than I speak
- Blocking "no meeting hours" to actually think and plan
- Not pretending to know everything (Google is still my co-manager)
- Having a mentor or peer where I can say: "Am I doing this right, or just winging it professionally?" (The answer is often both.)
Being a leader doesn't mean having it all figured out. It means creating space, giving clarity, and building trust — even when you're growing too. So if you're a new-ish manager who still second-guesses yourself — you're not underqualified. You're just evolving.